Time Distortion Hub

Linearity Protocol: DISABLED

Temporal Map

Topology: Pretzel
← ThenWheneverEventually →

Present Multiplicity

Reality Alpha

Stable

Standard Physics

Gravity pointing downwards.

Reality Beta

Erratic

Cheese Rain

Gouda precipitation at 40mm/hr.

Reality Gamma

Critical

Everyone is Haskill

A truly depressing state of affairs.

Active Paradoxes

Anomaly DescriptionTemporal OriginThreat LevelDivine Intervention
🦋

Grandfather eaten by butterfly

Subject ceased to exist, yet keeps complaining.

Past (Approx. 60 years ago)Severe
📅

Tomorrow happened yesterday

Schedules are completely ruined.

Future / Past (Unclear)Annoying
📐

Sudden bout of extreme logic

Inhabitants are doing math. Disgusting.

PresentCatastrophic

Past Echoes

Echo #402 - The First Cheese

"I remember when I first created cheese. Or did I steal it? Doesn't matter, it was glorious."

Echo #11 - Jyggalag's Visit

"Everything was perfectly aligned. It was awful."

Future Fragments

Abstract chaotic future
Probability: 87%
🌀

Complete dissolution of narrative structure.